In this week’s blog, we focus on “How We Live” our faith. In the Catechism of the Catholic Church #2225, it states, “Through the grace of the sacrament of marriage, parents receive the responsibility and privilege of evangelizing their children. Parents should initiate their children at an early age into the mysteries of the faith of which they are the ‘first hearalds’ for their children. They should associate them from their tenderest years with the life of the Church.” Shelley Burnett talks about her own experiences in bringing children to Mass and the joy that comes in unexpected ways. Shelley, a former English teacher and now, full-time mother, resides in Bristol with her husband, Dan, along with their three young children.

but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

We were sitting in the backyard playing, and my daughter Addison asked to sing Alleluia! At 18 months. I thought that she had most certainly meant something else. Much to my surprise, she began to sing Bernadette’s Alleluia (Alle-Alle-Alle-Lu-Jah). I was floored! That was not in our repertoire of nursery rhymes.

Not a few weeks later, she asked to do Amen. After waiting while I puzzled this over for a bit, she reached out and grabbed my hands, just as we do in church. So we prayed the Our Father, and she supplied the last word of each line…stumbling a little over words like trespasses (or just filling in “heaven” for every word she couldn’t pronounce), but I was astounded. Again, another prayer not yet in our nightly prayer routine.

Where was she getting these prayers? At church when we thought she wasn’t paying attention. When she was wriggling in my arms or trying to scoot around on the floor. At the very times when I thought that for sure, none of us were getting anything out of Mass – not my husband and I, nor our squirrely children.

Our experience is like that of so many other young families, wanting to go to Mass but struggling to “get something out of it” while dealing with little children. One time, my husband said, “I don’t even know why we go every week. I don’t hear half of what is going on.” However, even though it may not be immediately apparent, the kids are getting something out of attending Mass every week. They have shown us that time and time again. Whether it is Noah reciting the Mass parts along with the priest when he thinks we aren’t looking, or Gavin requesting to God Bless people in his prayers, or the occasional question about God and faith that we have to think hard about how best to explain resurrection to a 4-year-old, they are getting something out of attending Mass.

How wonderful it is to be a member of a parish that welcomes children into the congregation. There is no cry room for them; they are not second-class citizens to be banished to a separate room when they cannot behave like adults. No, they are accepted as children of God, and as such are given a place among the rest of us. And the community supports us. With knowing looks and reassuring smiles, they tell us that they are glad we have brought our children, and after Mass, they regale us with stories of when their own children (now older and very well-behaved) were young and squirrely like ours.

So I encourage all who have children – let them come. Do not be afraid of bringing children who are going to sometimes act as children will. We would rather have an energetic child attending Mass than staying at home where he won’t disturb anybody.

It can be challenging attending Mass with young children – there’s no doubt about that. Here are some tips to make it more manageable so that you can get the most out of Mass:

1. Attend with family members who can help with the children.
2. Become friendly with other families and sit by them – especially those with teenage children; they are often more than willing to help you hold babies or help to engage small children in the Mass.
3. Read the readings before Mass. One of the philosophical reasons as to why St. Anne never provided weekly readings at Mass was because the Word was meant to be heard. Therefore, read it ahead of time and then use your time at Mass to listen to the word. Not only will it help you to recall the readings while you are attending children, but you will also be internalizing the reading as you listen.
4. Visit the St. Anne website or Facebook page to revisit Fr. Bob’s homily once you have a quiet minute at home.
5. When you Baptize your children, you agree to “raise them up in the practice of the faith.” One of the practices of our faith is Mass attendance. Whether immediately apparent or not, our children will get something out of attending Mass. And soon enough, they will be able to sit and listen attentively. But for the time being, we can content ourselves with Alleluias, Amens, and glimpses into their church experience, knowing that we are doing the best we can.

Train a child up in the way he should go; even when he is old he should not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Dear people of St. Anne’s,

Thank you for your warmth in hosting me for our “Keeping Hope Alive” event and Walking with Justice book signing. What a wonderful evening with my brother, Fr. Bob, and all of you!

I enjoyed sharing lessons learned from my mentor, Judge Max Rosenn, a man who created a life of uplifting himself and all those around him. For those who asked for a synopsis of the talk, we looked at three characteristics that allowed Judge to be a powerful agent of hope for others.

1. Presence. Judge was fully present. He had a practice of living in the here and now. He processed the past, not getting caught up in anger, resentment, or regrets. He let go of anxieties or worries about what may come, pulling back from the unknowns of the future to this moment where he could take action toward creating the future.

He radiated presence, sometimes creating a seemingly sacred space with his full attention and compassion, which allowed others to show up more fully. We talked about kavanah (page 68), a mindset for prayer that Judge brought to his interactions with others. I read Conscious in St. Croix (page 62), a reminder that the simple act of listening and allowing others to speak their truth can foster justice and restore hope.

2. Stewardship. Judge brought to life the concept of giving generously of time, talent, and treasure and showed how this concept is not separate from the business world. We are called as stewards in our church, community, and career.

Watching Judge steward taught me that at its core level, stewardship is about gratitude and respecting the dignity of our humanity. It is about seeing all within us and around us as gift, thanking those who nourish us and generously sharing our gifts for the benefit of all, especially the most vulnerable.

I read Clothespins (page 52), a reminder that we are called to respect the needs of all people and do what we can to meet these needs in a way that helps them maintain their dignity.

3. Daily Rejuvenation, in partnership with God. Judge did not create a distinction between his faith and his work. They nurtured each other. He brought a common sense approach to rejuvenating his mind, body, and soul on a daily basis.

I shared a couple of my favorite spirituality quotes. C. S. Lewis reminded us, “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” French philosopher Pierre Teilhard de Chardin observed, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Although Judge and I never talked about these quotes, I have no doubt he would espouse their wisdom based on the daily decisions he made to fuel himself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We talked about our need for daily connection with God through prayer, silence, meditation, or other methods. If we do not afford ourselves a daily connection to our spirit, we will never be guided toward our full potential and we will make a lesser difference in the lives of others.

I read Prayers Big and Small (page 78), talking about how Judge lived his life as an offering and exploring the shared philosophy between our Christian and Jewish faiths.

We wrapped up our time talking about the double-sided coin of hope. When It seems all hope is gone and our greatest challenge is keeping hope alive amidst despair, then the greatest gift we can give to another is the gift of hope. As my mentor said, “In times of great uncertainty and need, you will have doubts. Also have hopes. Have dreams.”

I won’t repeat all of the (perceptive!) questions from the Q&A segment, but would be happy to provide any further clarifications. You may contact me at mollie@drmollie.com.

One final question I do want to respond to is one that was raised in feedback: “How could one man provide so much wisdom?”

Two answers come to me, one focusing on the teacher and the other on the student.

The Teacher. I talked about Judge as a just man. What I didn’t highlight is what this really means is that God justified him, transforming him into a man who shared in God’s own holiness and righteousness. Judge’s part of this partnership was to be completely open to all that God wanted to accomplish through him. He lived and breathed service to his creator and to humanity. This is reflected in his simple daily prayer: “God, help me make a contribution to a just and peaceful world.”

We must remember that not only was Judge a just man, but also he was just a man. All of the qualities that we talked about Judge exhibiting (presence, love, faith, hope, vision, wisdom, courage, humility, vibrancy, gratitude, compassion) were not things he created. These qualities come from God and are only revealed in us when we open ourselves up to the divine. Judge accessed these attributes through his relationship with God and expressed them through his relationship with others.

The Student. As I acknowledge in the book, there are times when gems of wisdom can sound trite and other times when they resonate at a soul level with their truth. The difference may not be in the depth or timelessness of the wisdom itself, but in the listener.

When joining Judge’s side as a young new lawyer, I was open to learning from his experience and wisdom. A tremendous amount soaked in. Fifteen years later, when my life had deconstructed from a cardiac virus and I felt a call to return to Judge’s teaching and bring his love and wisdom to the world, I was even more open and his guidance resonated deeply.

The same dynamic is true for people who read this book or listen to me recount these lessons in my speeches. The exact same sentence may hit as an epiphany for one, causing a transformative shift on the spot, while it lands as a warm fuzzy or even a disposable banality for another. All of these experiences are real and are legitimate.

It is not that a person experiencing an epiphany is more advanced or a better listener. It simply means that the context of their life in some way is providing fertile ground for the seeds to take hold. The words met them where they were searching for meaning for a particular situation while others may not find any helpful insights.

I encourage you not to focus so much on my mentor as the source of transformative wisdom, but on how his guidance may apply to the challenges or struggles of your own life. Before picking up this book, open your heart to what God may will for you and bring a curiosity to how the words may lead you toward the possibilities of your own life and greater service to others.

With gratitude and love,

Mollie

 

Continuing our series, this blog focuses on  “How We Worship,” and the lovely discovery of an aging father and his quiet love for serving in the Liturgy. In the Catechism of the Catholic Church #1068, it states, “It is the mystery of Christ that the Church proclaims and celebrates in her liturgy so that the faithful may live from it and bear witness to it in the world.” Mark Rogan helps to run his family business, Rogan Shoes, and he and his wife, LeAnn, reside in Racine with their two children, McKenna and Adam. They have been parishioners of St. Anne since the parish’s early years.

There are things in your life that people (even if you are very close) do not tell you. Some people call them secrets. Others of us call them personal things that matter only to us. I have recently been privy to some personal information about my father that wasn’t necessarily a secret, but might have been something that he kept to himself because it was just for him.

Here is the background: I was born a Catholic, raised a Catholic, and will always be a Catholic. I went to Mass on Sundays and participated for most of my life. My parents are very much the same. My dad over the past many years has been going to Mass at least two times a week depending on Mass schedules at his church (having 11 children I assume he has a lot to pray about). About two years ago he had some health issues that have been
slowly breaking his body down and I have had the unfortunate experience of
watching a very vibrant and alive man become a shell of what he used to
be.  We are at the point that we have had to take his driver’s license away from him because he has had at least four episodes where he has fallen for no reason.
His speech is almost nonexistent and his motors skills are lacking but he still loves to come into work every morning, shuffle his papers around his office, and watch what his sons are doing with the company that he created.  Because of this love for his job, we could never take that away from him so we have taken turns picking him up in the morning and take him home when he is finished doing whatever he does in his office.

A couple weeks back, I was given the task of picking him up for work and it was on his “Mass day”. I picked him up nice and early (Mass is at 7:00am) and took him to Sacred Heart Church in Racine. He got out of my car and walked across the parking lot like I haven’t seen in years from him. Lately, he has been a “foot shuffler” and I am worried about him tripping over something and falling down again – but not today.

He walked into church and flipped the switch for the light above the baptismal font (the church was completely empty), went over to the sacristy, typed in the code to unlock the door, and turned on all of the lights in the chapel area. He went over to the cupboards and got out the chalice, water and wine cruets, bowl for the washing of the hands, purificator towels for the wine glass, and counted out the number of hosts that would be needed for Mass that morning (he thought there would be 8 of us; there were only 5). MY DAD WAS THE ACOLYTE!! Who would have known? As the Mass went on, he went up on the altar (which was scary because it involves a step and no hand rail) at the Consecration of the Eucharist and cleared the cruets off the altar when the priest was finished with them. He then brought over the bowl and water to wash the priest’s hands. MY DAD WAS THE ALTAR SERVER ALSO!! Yep, it gets stranger. At Communion he makes the trek up the step again (scary once again) and receives Communion because he is also the Communion Wine Minister. After Mass, I help him carry all of the items back to the Sacristy, help him put them away and I take him to work. All the while, I am amazed and astonished that this man who is struggling through the most simple of tasks (like eating, walking up a step, talking, picking up a dropped item, etc…) did all of these tasks with such ease and grace. God knows that my dad may need help with some things and he has put them in my and my sibling’s hands to take care of, but when God really needs something accomplished He will give my dad the strength to handle it with ease. It was my Greatest Mass that I have ever attended.

 

Continuing on our blog series, the following was provided by an anonymous parishioner. The theme of this story focuses on the Holy Spirit, and how sometimes the Spirit may direct actions that help another individual. In this story, there are themes of charity and perspectives on the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Reconciliation is offered at St. Anne on Wednesdays and Saturdays at 9:00 a.m.

One evening, I was leading a Youth Faith Formation group at St. Anne. One of the exercises was for each student to cite an instance where they served another person or where they were served by another, and then relate the “feeling” that corresponded. Each of the students cited an example of how they served others. The last student to speak, sitting to my left, spoke very quietly and explained of a time when neighbors brought food to her house and how grateful her family felt.

I immediately sensed that there was some type of need. With my professional coaching experience, and importantly, my involvement with Saint Vincent de Paul, I felt that there might be a real need. But I also believe that I was guided by the Holy Spirit to ask the student if she would talk with me after the class. When we talked, I learned that the family faced several hardships. Knowing that the student had been driven to St. Anne by her Mom, I asked her to ask her Mom whether or not she would be willing to share more information, so that St. Anne’s ministries could help them best.

The mother came in and shared that their house was in a foreclosure, the husband was not living at home, and that family income was insufficient to care for her and her three children. She lived in a nearby city and was not a member of St. Anne. The mom agreed to attend Career Coaching for help in finding employment and job search support. She also agreed to meet with me and another ministry member of Saint Vincent de Paul (SVDP). There was no doubt in my mind that the Spirit was at work in opening hearts and doors.

Both meetings took place. A mentoring plan and a support plan were developed, enthusiastically agreed to, and put into practice. Finances and well-being are slowly improving for the family. There have been follow- up visits and phone calls for encouragement as well as guidance on several occasions. As part of the SVDP ministry, we also provided family assistance from a fellow parishioner who is an attorney. He accompanied me on a home visit to review some past financial transaction documents that the couple had executed. His focus was to determine the impact of these questionable financial documents/agreements. The attorney suggested to the mother some steps that she needed to take, and how to take these steps. He helped her understand what the real financial considerations were; provided encouragement, and offered additional pro bono legal counseling to her.

After the mom and I met a few times, with discussions about the St. Anne family and the Spirit being active at St. Anne, the mom did attend a new member registration and is now an active parishioner.

The journey continues. She, additionally, shared that she had not been to reconciliation in 15 years. After sharing with her my own experience with Father Bob and how he administered the Sacrament of Reconciliation in an encouraging and loving manner, she decided that she wanted to receive the sacrament. She joyfully shared this experience with me after she had received the sacrament.

I believe that there were too many “coincidences” to be just that. I believe that the Holy Spirit guided many of the conversations, starting with the student offering her story at Youth Faith Formation. If we listen, the Spirit can guide us to see, hear, and do things that might have been beyond our usual view of our busy lives.

 

Continuing our blog series, “Our Catholic Faith,” Margie Mandli shares some reflections about a friend who recently left the Catholic Church to attend a non-demoninational church. Margie reflects on the positive outlook and even the opportunities presented to Catholics in these instances to recall their own understanding of the Catholic teachings and be witnesses of faith. Margie and her husband, Mark, along with their three children have been parishioners for about eight years and reside in Kenosha. She is an independent business owner of GEM Communications and Consulting LLC, and serves as ministry leader for Parish Outreach.

Recently, I learned that one of my dear friends left the Catholic Church to join a non-denominational church – the kind that “wow” you with high-tech Sunday services….almost an entertaining sort of experience. You can choose from “loud” and “not-so-loud” services (according to their Web site), whichever suits your preference.This church boasts about its programs for children and youth, allowing all ages to fully engage in the church experience.
Feelings of sadness, resentment and even regret came upon me as I thought about what I could have done to prevent what I considered this tragic occurrence.  After I collected my emotions, I began to think more rationally (and less judgmentally).  I thought to myself, “It could be a lot worse.”  I began to ponder at the thought of my dear friend in search, perhaps in search of something deeper.  Maybe she feels something is missing from her life, her husband’s life, and maybe even her young children’s lives.  Maybe – just maybe – she’s in search of a relationship with our Lord.  And, ISN’T THAT A GOOD THING? Perhaps, her exploration could actually help deepen her faith, allowing her family to grow together.

Nonetheless, I began to ask myself, what does THAT church have that we do not?  Because in fact, I always wonder how one could possibly leave behind the Eucharist – the “source and summit” of the Catholic Church, that in which all strength and life is derived.  After all, Jesus Christ himself is present in body, blood, soul and divinity.  While the Eucharist is central to the Church’s teachings, it’s also quite a mystery, and often difficult to comprehend for many. And, so knowing that this may be a really tough belief to buy into, I decided there ought to be something more as to why people leave the Catholic Church.  So instead of fighting it and resenting it, I started to ask myself, “What is it WE DON’T HAVE that this other church COULD POSSIBLY HAVE?”

To explore this question further, I started thinking about situations in which someone is really excited about something, exuding a certain enthusiasm for this new “thing.”  It could be a recipe, a new fitness program, a new hobby, a new love, a new vacation home, a milestone in the family such as graduation, birth, or wedding. The list goes on and on.  What do all these exciting scenarios have in common? To me, it’s one thing: Passion – A passion for this new found thing or person that will make their life better. A belief that this person or thing can satisfy an interest, a hunger or a need.  Isn’t it true when you experience someone who is passionate about something, you want what they have? Their enthusiasm is contagious. Their love for life is obvious.  They are attractive in every way. People want to be around them. So, back to my question, “What is it WE DON’T HAVE that this other church COULD HAVE?”

My conclusion: PASSION. Is it possible we may lack PASSION, and perhaps the other church HAS PASSION? Passion for its beliefs. Excitement for the things they offer. Importantly, this church is passionate about the Lord!  And passionate in helping people create a relationship with the Lord!  To me, the passion they have represents FIRE!  Is it possible that the people from this church are on FIRE WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT? Fire spreads. The result: People flock to their church to see what the buzz is about.

Some might argue that there are many Catholics who are passionate about their Church, their beliefs, and even passionate about their relationship with the Lord. But how do we spread that passion to others so that EVERYONE IS UNIVERSALLY EXCITED ABOUT BEING CATHOLIC, THAT PEOPLE ARE DRAWN TO US, where people naturally say, “I want what they have!”

And, so I began to ask, “HOW DO WE CREATE THAT SAME FIRE — A ZEAL FOR OUR CHURCH?” Whose job is it?  The priest’s? The Church’s?  The Pope’s?  Perhaps it’s all of these. But, maybe the real answer starts with me.  If I’m passionate about something, logic says I would tell someone about it.  So, I sat back and asked myself these questions:

1)     Have I told anyone about how powerful the Eucharist is to me, personally? How when I receive the Eucharist, it’s as if I receive one great big hug from Christ.  That I can’t wait to receive Him, especially in the middle of the week when I need the most strength?

2)     Have I told anyone that when I receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, it feels like a deep cleansing of the soul?  Have I told anyone that it provides immense spiritual healing?  That it makes me more compassionate toward people? That it makes me more forgiving of people? That it makes me ever so aware of my flaws and my reliance on God to pick me up again? That it helps me start anew with my relationship with the Lord?

3)     Have I told anyone that the Saints give me inspiration to live my life?  That they as sinners in this world, have experienced the same darkness and despair that so often we all do?  That they provide an incredible example for having a deep prayer life yet they too experienced struggles to maintain their prayer life?

4)     Have I told anyone about the power of the Mass?That in Mass we experience the sacrifice of our Lord on the cross each time, and that once I studied and learned more about the Mass and its full meaning, I realized that it’s probably the greatest gift ever given to us?

5)     Have I told anyone about the works of mercy that our Church provides? The hundreds of thousands of people we serve on the streets, in prisons, hospitals and schools? About what my children come home and teach me each day by attending a Catholic school?

6)     Have I told anyone about my own personal relationship with the Lord? How He speaks to me…every single day in scripture, through people, through prayer, in my heart? That, if I’m open, He can actually tell me what clothes to wear? What to say to a friend? What not to say? When to be silent? When to help someone?

7)     Have I told anyone that at my parish, there is a true love for the Liturgy, which is felt in the people, the music, preaching and hospitality, and most of all the Eucharist? That people have continued to visit us and “want what we have”?

It struck me as I reflected on my friend leaving the Catholic Church: Did I ever share these things with her?  Why have I been so silent?  Do I consider this gift a private affair –not for sharing? Am I embarrassed or scared of rejection, therefore resort to remaining silent?  My prayer for my friend is that she finds what she’s looking for because I love her and want what’s best for her. My greatest hope for her is that she and her family will find our Lord and develop a loving and lasting relationship with Him. Who knows?  Maybe next time I see her, she’ll be on fire. Maybe she’ll be able to teach us about PASSION – PASSION FOR THE LORD AND ALL THAT HE IS. Maybe next time I ask why someone has left the Church,instead I should ask: What have I DONE to share my passion?